My mentors abide..

Last week, I mentioned – for probably the millionth time – how inspiring I find my best friend’s mother, Teresa. I realized that I haven’t really ever fully given credit to those who are my examples to follow. First, there’s the aforementioned Teresa Corbin, mother to Shaina and Matt, wife to BC, a very close friend of mine, Miki – who is one of the most amazing women of my generation, bar none, and my own mother, for obvious reasons. They’re amazing beautiful women, all. And – in the spirit of Christmas, I write my thanks to them here, and explain how they have inspired me and what lessons I have learned from them.

I’m going to write in reverse order from the list above, so to start with – my mother, the woman who was my first example for this job. My Mom has been through a lot, and goodness knows we definitely haven’t given her an easy road in parenting. Myself specifically through her and my dad for some very large loops about 10 years ago (wow! It’s really been that long?!). However, she has never stopped giving. Never stopped trying to set a good example for us, and she’s never – not once – ceased to put every single ounce of herself into being a mother to myself and my 5 sisters. Even now, the two youngest still just on their way into high school, she works hard to make sure they know how to function as young girls with values and respect for themselves. My mother taught me self-reliance. My mother taught me independence, and she taught me that family is more important than anything. She taught me that it’s truly better to give than to receive, and that if it is at all possible to help someone in need then it’s your job to do it. She showed me that sacrifice is how we learn to appreciate our lives and family, and that helping others is never out of the realm of possibility. Being a servant is the best thing you could ever be. My mom showed me the dedication and work that goes into being a stay-at-home mom. She also instilled in me the confidence to know that I can choose to be a working mom or a stay-at-home mom and succeed either way as a wonderful parent. Neither are easy, but both will fill your heart.

Miki is a girl I met while working at the bookstore back home. She is a single mom who, since I met her, has received a BA as well as a Master’s and started her career working as a Librarian for Alachua County – all the while raising one of the most perfect children I’ve ever had the great privilege of knowing. Riley is single handedly one of the most creative, independent, and intelligent girls I will ever know – and she has been such since I’ve known her when she was 2 years old. Miki has shown me patience like I’ve never known. She’s taught me how to embrace your child’s creativity, how to allow them individualism, without finding a spoiled brat at the end of the day hearing yes to everything. Riley knows the word ‘no’. She understands it and respects it. Miki treats Riley with respect, and gets it in return. She explains things to her rather than using platitudes. Conversations instead of orders. It should also be noted, I’ve never seen a parent get truer enjoyment from playing with their child than watching these two together. Miki embraces arts and crafts with her daughter like there is nothing better in this life to experience (and I can vouch, personally – there isn’t really). Miki has taught me not only how to be a parent, but how to be my child’s friend without losing their respect. She has shown me how to get every ounce of enjoyment from a child’s beauty and personality and how to know the person you’re raising without hovering.

Lastly, Teresa is the mother of my best friend of almost 14 years. I have had the privilege to know her children deeply and by extension her parenting as a basically adopted third child. Teresa trusts her children and has shown more fierce loyalty to them than I’ve ever seen in my life. She allows them to be adults (and has since we were young teens) within reason but always has held a presence in their life so that they have reciprocated and shared their lives with her when most kids prevalently pull away from their parents. I’ve watched both her daughter and her son rely on her and receive unfailing care. She is never too quick to criticize, though certainly has never shielded them from what they needed to hear. She encourages sports, literacy and art, exudes confidence and comfort, and works a full-time job to boot! Teresa has always been involved with her kids’ lives without having to pry. She knows them like the back of her hand and they know she’s always there for them beyond any doubt – let alone the confidence we have that she’s just as willing to be there for those of us who have become adopted members of the family. Teresa is as much a mother to me as my own, and in some ways has always held a spot in my heart just as big and important. She was there for me through some of the hardest moments of my life, and also more than ecstatically present for some of the happiest moments. She is so a part of my life, that in the same way that I regard her daughter as my son’s Aunt as truly as my own sisters – she is another of his Grandmothers. She always has made it clear that her house was open to me when I needed it – or simply when I wanted to come hang at Casa Corbin – and there have been ungodly amounts of times where she cooked me meals to fill my hungry tummy. One of the best moments of my early pregnancy last year (of which there were few, honestly) was going to spend time cuddling and watching movies with Shaina, and Teresa knowing how bad my morning sickness had been – made sure I had what I needed, but as soon as I mentioned I was hungry, happily set to cooking a full dinner for me to eat. Shaina and I have for a long time described each other as our female soulmate’s – and when I think of the saying ‘marry a girl and you marry her family,’ I realize how happy I am to know I have married the Corbin family and have this woman as my mother – real or not – for the rest of my life.

These women – and many others, trust me – have taught me, shaped me, and inspired me. I know that they have only made me better and I will be forever in awe of their abilities.

Merry Christmas, dear Void – thank you for the year you have given me, good and bad, the things I have learned are invaluable and I will always be grateful for it.

Creating my masterpiece..

In college, I read My Name is Asher Lev for a class once. It’s this amazing and beautiful novel about a Jewish boy that – from the time he’s a toddler – has an affinity for art. Long story short – through the problems and the conflict between his passion and his culture, he becomes a painter. A very successful and brilliant painter. At one point in the story, the author (Chaim Potok) goes to painstaking efforts to explain how it feels for an artist to work so hard on a piece, and then to let it go. Basically how letting it go is letting go of part of your soul.

I did a little math the other day and figured something out. 24 hours a day, every day of the year for 18 years is 157,680 hours. Meanwhile, 40 hours a week, 52 weeks of the year for 18 years is 37,440 hours. That means by the time your child is 18, you’ve essentially been working 4 full-time jobs non-stop. Four. That’s twice as much as a lawyer working 60-70 hours a week. All the hours teaching, playing, rocking, “shh-ing”, healing and kissing boo-boos, building with blocks, singing songs, taking pictures, going on walks, spelling, learning to ride a bike, talking, eating, taking baths, going over homework, science fair projects, - and God knows that’s not more than 10% of what we spend our lives doing. All the worrying and planning - the sheer terror that is putting so much of yourself into this one goal – the hopes and working toward creating this person. Making your whole life the building of someone else’s life. All this – just so you can let them go. Let that huge, massive, complete and continental chunk of your soul…go out into the world, free to succeed or magnificently fail.

That’s what we’ve chosen. That’s the life I’ve chosen. And I’m grateful for it.

Before this year, I understood what being a parent was. I knew that my child would be amazing in my eyes and that I would think he hung the moon. What I didn’t know – or rather: comprehend – was how I truly, with every fiber/atom/neuron/thought in my being, would believe he’s the single most perfect thing I have ever done. I didn’t understand how despite going days without more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time, I would still lovingly rise from my bed to come and rock my child back to sleep. How when I hate him, I love him. And when he does even the infinitely smallest new thing, my heart soars. Stretch marks are battle scars, exhaustion is status quo. And it’s more wonderful than I really could have ever guessed.

_____

Updates: Owen had his First Halloween! He was a Baby Ewok – that’s right, my son was Wickett – we went to Boo at the Zoo on Sunday night and took a Trick or Treating Walk on Halloween. Enjoy the pictures, plus some bathtime fun and our trip to the Pumpkin Festival. : )

Big Steps & Thoughts..

It is now the end of October - though I wrote this in mid-October...so another post will be more up to date with Halloween stuff in the next day or two. Read the rest of this as if it were posted around the 14th (since that's when I wrote it but forgot to actually publish the post.

Summer weather has left us, leaves are changing and the cool wind has returned to Cleveland. In September, I started my first job in over a year, working at a Toyota dealership. Along with my new beginning, Owen had one of his own, starting his attendance at a daycare full-time. This daycare, in my true and humble opinion, is an excellent place – classes only 6-8 kids and they move up to the next developmental class around every 6 months. Around 1 ½ to 2 years they start a curriculum, learning to sit in a circle, make various art projects, later progressing to learning shapes and colors around 2-2 1/2. Around 3 the classes start teaching French lessons as well as building on the letter and counting skills progressively all the way through a certified and fully functioning Kindergarten class. I’m really truly happy with this place and am so glad to have Owen there when he’s not with us.

Later in September we also had a weekend visit from Corey’s parents and we went to the RIPE! Festival at the Botanical Gardens here, enjoying the first tastes of Fall weather. It was great fun to see Owen spending time with Pat & Mike (Grandma & Grandpa) and watching him play with them.

Since October has begun, Owen has sprouted 3 more teeth, now totaling 5 – the three new teeth being all top teeth. : ) He looks positively adorable, but alas, has not let me catch a picture of the new “teefers” yet. Oh and also: Owen has started mumbling “ma ma” and “da da” sometimes. I don’t think he consciously recognizes what it means yet, but it’s there nonetheless. : )

Today, we went to our first protest – or rather, General Assembly. It was new for all three of us (Owen being kind of a given in this case) but it was great to meet people who were all standing up and protesting the way our country is going. Saying that what has happened is inexcusable, it shouldn’t be this hard to simply survive, and that a bought Congress serves no citizen well. I spoke with people who were Vietnam and WW2 Vets, women as old as their early 70’s and kids as young as 16, - all agreeing it should never have taken this turn, that the Government is wasting too much money and that the billionaires of our society are getting a far too biased treatment based off of political promises and favoritism. Things need to be altered. Money needs to exit political campaigns and politicians need to *work together* to find a REAL solution, rather than pouting, throwing tantrums, and being all-together unproductive when our society and many others who follow our example are crumbling beneath us. – Soapbox done (for this entry at least).

Halloween is coming, Owen’s costume is ordered and I’m working on my plans for mine as well – me thinks a pirate will be the decision, though I am not totally sure yet. We plan on going to Boo at the Zoo to celebrate and have fun and also Owen’s going to have a Halloween party at school the day of as well. : ) November will hold a trip to Baltimore for Veteran’s day, and a trip to Minnesota for Thanksgiving. Then Christmas will follow in Florida with an early birthday party for Owen that I also have to start planning (eek! I can’t believe it’s almost been a year already!!!). Many things to do and a severe lack of time to do them in. Hoping all is well with you, Dear Void. I am now off to play with my beautiful son, watching ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’. I’m incredibly excited to watch ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’ with him later this month as well. Traditions in the making. : )

It's time for blankets, books, and the blues...

Welcome to September, dear Void. This year is already 75% over and I feel completely contradictory in that, Owen has gotten so big (more developmentally than size to be honest - he is one mini little monkey) and there by time seems to be passing unbelievably quickly - but at the same time, time seems to be passing so soul-deadening slowly.

On the upside, things have been going well here for the last couple weeks. Our trip to Pittsburgh was absolutely amazing, celebrated Owen's first official hotel-stay vacation. We took Owen to his first baseball game, had a ton of fun cheering for the Pirates and enjoying them battle it out with the Reds. Then Saturday morning we went to the Strip District which is basically a huge street market along with businesses that are there all along which are always endlessly fun to visit. We went to Penzeys (my favorite spice store - it's a chain, but I weirdly only will shop at the one in Pittsburgh) bought some Cinnamon, Mulling Spices, Chili & Taco Seasonings, Pumpkin Pie spices, and some Florida Seasoned Pepper (it has a citrus taste - thus the Florida reference). I'm so excited to be able to use them throughout the coming months!

(My favorite building in Pittsburgh. All the most beautiful green tile - and it's for sale.)

(These are doubly special because they are recreating a picture of Corey & I from when we first started dating in this same spot on our first trip together for me to meet his parents, but they are also our first Family photos!!)

Saturday afternoon we went up the Duquesne Incline and enjoyed the view while also adding to Owen's pressed penny collection. We walked to the end of the street and looked over the beauty that is Pittsburgh from Mount Washington, hung out for about an hour and a half just talking and spending time with Tilghman & Whitney - oh and we took our first family pictures! : ) I also got some great pictures of Tilghman & Whitney with Owen which was awesome and much needed for Owen's ever-growing gallery wall. Saturday night we enjoyed a date night - our first since Owen was born - and had a truly wonderful dinner with Tilgh & Whit at the Melting Pot. It was so nice to have a nice dinner and fun times with friends! Also, Owen got curious and tried real apples for the first time, patiently gumming them into submission.

 

Sunday we had a short day so that everyone could get home early and not feel rushed back into Monday morning - which meant we were careful in deciding our final plans. We finally decided a ride on the Pittsburgh Fairyboat Tours was a perfect way to end the weekend and then closed the weekend with lunch at Joe's Crab Shack. While we were on the boat though, Owen had a ton of fun looking out over the water (his first boat ride!) and also met his first clown! I think at the end of the weekend, the only thought process for any of us is how badly we want to live closer to each other.

Corey and I have been having a lot of discussions with thoughts as to what we can do to start making moves forward in our life lately. Talking about how long we really should/want to wait before having our next baby, what I realistically need to do to make progress towards teaching (and eventually becoming that longed for position of Professor - and Dr...), and further plans for jobs/living/dreams/etc. The first two really being the substantial topics. The first was settled pretty simply by decided how far apart we were really okay with the kids being and also taking into account financial ability - end result: we are waiting for another year-year and a half so that Owen will have a sibling who is about 3 years younger than he is. The other topic has resulted in us making strides toward figuring out a way for me to get back into school. After looking over what it will take for me to become a teacher in this area of the country, I have about 2 years of post-baccalaureate work ahead of me before I get into a classroom. Basically I have to go through a teacher certification program - which will be fine and exciting for me to just be back in school. The time I have spent pining for education's presence in my life in the two years since graduation is rather ridiculous and I am happy to know I will soon be done with it. There are still some things to be done before that can take place, but at least I know it will be happening in the near future.

Happy thoughts all around here - and one more to boot: my dear friend, Amanda, gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy this week named Levi!

And with that, I leave you. Good night.

 (Did I mention we saw some of the new Batman movie being filmed on Saturday? Oh yeah - we did.)

Moving forward - at Warp Speed

In the last 6 weeks – so much has happened. We started with going to Wisconsin for Corey’s best friend, Craig’s wedding to the lovely Debbie. They got married at the top of a ski slope and it was an incredibly beautiful day. After that, we made our way over to Austin, Minnesota where we spent 4^th of July and a week of visiting with Corey’s mom’s family – aka the Fitz’s. This was my first time meeting most of them as well as their first time meeting Owen so it was a fantastic visit.

 this is a place in Sparta, Wisconsin which creates and builds fiberglass statues for various businesses - outside of their building, they have this: a statue mold graveyard.

Once we got home – like I mentioned in the last blog – we had to turn around and go to Florida. Aside from the reason, it was a nice visit home. Spending time with the family was a great thing – especially meeting my new niece and Owen’s first cousin: Bridget Marie, my little pea pod. : )

We came home on my sister, Kristi’s birthday but also Owen’s 6 month birthday. Spent the weekend with Owen’s godparents, Tilghman and Whitney – or as they’re more affectionately known: Uncle Tilly & Auntie Whitney – visiting us in Cleveland. Owen has been working on crawling, standing, sitting up and has become a baby food champion. He talks constantly and is always working on somehow getting into everything and moving around the room. In short, he’s endlessly fun these days. 

  

Today we’re going to Pittsburgh to spend another weekend with Tilghman & Whitney and it’s going to be amazing. I love Pittsburgh and this is going to be our first time out and about in the real city area since 2007. I love it so much and am thrilled to spend more time with such great friends. Best of all: Owen is going to go to his first major league baseball game tonight! : ) Can’t wait to have an awesome weekend! I’ll be posting more often again hopefully, now that I have caught everything up. Have a happy weekend, dear Void.